May 7, 2012 Day 14 — Phillipsburg to Port Murray (15 miles)

How do I tell Nathaniel’s Story?

As expected, I sleep soundly despite the somber decor, but in the very early AM, I’m eager to move on. At the reception desk of the Phillipsburg Inn (see yesterday’s blog), I’m greeted by two stern-looking women who wear an “I’ve-seen-the-likes-of-you” look. “Do you want a receipt?” they ask. “Yes, please.” “Room 114–Pat Nicholson from California?” they inquire? I hesitate to answer. Maybe I slept too soundly last night and a transgender event happened. I should have been more attentive. It’s clear they do not want to hear the Nathaniel Story. At Perkins next door, I question my ability to ever raise enough awareness about OCD/BDD given the recent failure. But I try again. This time waitress Lynn listens attentively and pays for my breakfast. How do I get a foot in the door of people’s attention so that their guard falls down and human connection happens? The first ten seconds of delivery and word choice obviously matter.

Then I remember where human kindness has already occurred on this pilgrimage. Jennifer, the pharmacist, who pays for my lunch in Media; the manager at Panera’s in Broomall who offers me a free mango smoothy; Janet in Hatfield who hands me a $10 bill. I’m warmly received at scheduled appointments, but what about elsewhere? Is it the tone of voice I use? The words I choose? My facial expression? Or is it just a matter of my trusting that human kindness abounds? What about the other innkeeper near Horsham who bluntly interrupts me and says,”I haven’t got time for your story.” “Can I still use your bathroom?” I sheepishly ask.

With no clarity on the matter, I move on. Today’s road through Greenwich, NJ is generously wide and pedestrian-friendly. I stop at a Dunkin Donuts eager to try my developing people-connection skills. “I’m walking for Nathaniel, who…” I’m cut off. “That’s nice. Have a good one.” A good what? cup of coffee? day? walk? life? “But…but…but!” Move on Asselin. Robert at Warren County Technical School lets me use the bathroom and listens to my Nathaniel Story. As we converse, he sings the praises of experiential education in this small community college, where students connect head, heart, and body. Maybe that’s it. If I tell Nathaniel’s Story with that in mind, and if my listeners do the same, then the story of OCD/BDD will spread.

Too tired to move on (after 15 miles), I arrive at Ralph’s King Size Motel. Definitely not what I expect. Here we go again. Name has changed and perhaps the original hospitality mission as well. Do I stay? I have no choice. The next hotel is 8 miles away. I decide to tell Nan’s Story, and without hesitation, the smile happens and the room rate drops a bit. I’ll get the knack of this by the time I arrive in Boston. (miles to date: 189.4)

(Check out the great sign along the route….and the not-so-great view of my room tonight! Door on the left. Where is a Hyatt when you need one? Can’t wait to stay with relatives and friends for the rest of the week!)